Have you ever experienced the following? You finally found time to spend with a beloved person you haven’t been seeing for quite a long time, but instead of enjoying the company and conversations, you keep on thinking about the meal you have to prepare afterwards, the laundry which still needs to be done or the important meeting scheduled for tomorrow. It commonly appears quite often that we catch ourselves thinking about something other than what we are actually doing. We’re seemingly detached – our thoughts are in the driver’s seat steering us towards inattentiveness. There are obvious pull-aways on the one side, that we are able to notice consciously. But the really decisive occurrences happen, on the other side, mostly unconsciously and much more regularly – while brushing our teeth, washing the dishes or even having a meal. I consider these small everyday situations decisive, because they are our tool to reduce the unwanted mind-wandering I introduced in the beginning. Doing everything in our lives more consciously will lead to an enhanced enjoyment of valuable moments.

The drifting itself is fundamentally a completely natural process. When left to their own devices, our minds disconnect from the present moment and think about other things instead. Some call it productive and it could also be harmless or even fun, but it happens too frequently as we’re doing that almost half of our waking time. In our connected world distraction in the form of notifications like emails, text messages and similar even intensifies that “pull-away”. When our mind is obviously somewhere else, it could occur that we lose touch with what we’re feeling in the present moment – or worse, become unable to enjoy and live it purely. Surely we’re all facing tough battles in our life that can’t be hidden, and our main approach should be to identify these and change something about, but we can work on the perception and appreciation of the current moment secondly to reduce our concerns about these challenges. Saying that, I’m addressing the major problem in mind-wandering – in most cases it is dominated by negative thoughts which draw us away from the here and now. We all know the Sunday scaries – yes they’re so widespread that someone created an actual term for it. Our happiness in the current moment drops significantly if our mind wanders to negative topics. Studies have identified a direct correlation between mind-wandering and unhappiness.

While being aware of this, I’m nonetheless using mind-wandering and reveries as an inspiring tool. If used correctly, it can be an open and meditative space for creativity flow, thought processing and reflection. Trying to integrate it into my day-to-day life, where I’m using time slots where I have to wait for something or someone, mind-wandering became a noteworthy part during my travels leading to more satisfaction and trust in leading myself. For me staring at the sea or another scene where I’m currently at, usually ends in a silent therapy session with myself in which I philosophize about current happenings, calm myself or develop new ideas. I even prepared this post while letting my mind roam over the waves of the Pacific Ocean. When I leave that state, I’m usually full of satisfaction, gratitude or inspiring ideas.

So the problem might therefore not be that our minds wander, but that they wander without us deciding where to go. We’re sitting on the backseat ending up surprised and overwhelmed after each change of direction. Two crucial variables sustainably determine whether we’re able to change the seats letting the experience of mind-drifting becoming a burden or a tool. First, it’s surely decisive which thoughts are predominant in our minds – it’s proven that mind-wandering about positive topics makes us equally happy as if we’re engaging the present moment fully. Secondly, and that’s the more important influence, it is important, that we are following that conscious decision to roam through our minds right now. This deliberate action catapults us into the driver’s seat and is a total different experience than being carried away of useless and burdensome thoughts while we would rather focus on a precious moment.

how do we get into the driver’s seat?

As described, it is the default state of our mind to lean to mind-wandering, but that doesn’t mean it has to. Curbing the drifting will effect an increased contentment in the here and now. Imagine having no concerns about what’s happening tomorrow or stacking all the open tasks in your head while enjoying a delicious dinner. What we need to learn for doing so, is to be more present. The ability to stay grounded and attentive in the presence is what is called mindfulness. As I want to write thoroughly about that topic, I lastly want to point out a few mechanisms for daily life which support me a lot.

• Silent your phone: Imagine sitting in the driver’s seat when your engine suddenly starts making a suspicious sound – your attention will immediately shift away from the road. Appearing notifications are the best equivalent applicable on our minds unintentional drifting.
• Single-tasking: Having a phone call while driving can make you miss the exit on your route. This metaphor is seamlessly adaptable on our minds. Always do just one task and do it consciously.
• Reduce distraction: Limit the continuous stream of external concerns, smashing on our minds massively in the form of media input, that gives your mind more material to worry about than it can meaningfully process.
• Allow it to happen: Use waiting time to practice simply being present instead of automatically filling every empty moment with stimulation.
• Writing down your thoughts: Taking notes about your thoughts could factually take them out of the stream of your mind and opens the possibility to later focus and dive into the written topics.
• Meditation: This tool is literally the workout your brain needs. It is majorly about noticing the drifts of your mind and recatching the focus. Doing it regularly will efficiently contribute on reclaiming the driver’s seat.